space alien green snot paleo bars...a recipe

by clif high, Sunday ,October 20, 2013 6:25pm

with respect...

Just in time to freak out the holloweeners...

my Space Alien Green Snot Paleo bars. Note these are very edible, they just look like something that a space alien would sneeze out of one of their nine noses. These are green, lumpy and have a kryptonite like sheen that makes the eyes try to desperately tell the mouth it does NOT want to accept the incoming 'food'.

BUT, the brave among you will discover a fat filled paleo delight. i used to have issues getting enough fats, and could not really figure out how to get coconut fats into my diet. Now all has changed with the discovery of various kinds of 'paleo bars'. Perfect for recovery food after exercise, and as dense calorie body-boost mid way in a hard sanding day, the paleo bar is basically the solution to humanity's never ending search for yet more palatable ways to consume congealed fats.

The recipe is more a ratio guide than an absolute.

  • 1 cup organic coconut oil
  • 1 cup organic, no salt, butter
  • 1/2 cup hemp protein powder (unflavored is preferred, don't get the chocolate if you want the bars to be green)
  • 1/2 cup pumpkin seed butter (provides zinc and other necessary minerals/proteins for muscle recovery)
  • 1/2 cup honey (can use neem or other specialty honey if you want as the taste will NOT come through)
  • 1/2 cup flaked, dried organic coconut flesh
  • 1 and 1/2 cup filberts (or other oil nuts such as walnuts, or almonds) raw, organic
  • 3 tablespoons wheat grass powder (for the additional green and fiber and chlorophyll)
  • pinch of salt, iodine added as Fuku is still spewing
  • any dried fruit you care to fling in...chopped a bit

The 'cooking part' of this recipe is real easy.

Melt the coconut oil and butter together over very very low heat.

Grind the nuts to powder in whatever way you can. Not too fast or the nut oils heat up and spoil.

Mix it all together in a large bowl with the coconut oil and butter direct from the pan and still liquid.

Put into a container of some sort and bung into the refrigerator.

Let cool about an hour until it is solid and truly disgusting looking. Then take out, carve up into interesting shapes and dare each other to eat some.

As you may have noticed, a very very high fat food. With the hemp protein powder you also get a lot of fiber and that perfect for human bodies amino acid blend and omega 3s. But the primary component of this 'treat' is fat.

Trying to get my fats up, and carbs down as we head into cold cold cold winter.

This formula for paleo bars provides a lot of the desired fats, and as one may discover, awful hard to whip butter and coconut oils into smoothies. This approach seems to work a bit better as these days shorten.

Have fun with people's reactions as well.