Vampires don't shit.....
a true horror noodle
Barely a human alive on this planet terra today is unaware of the 'vampire myth'. Translated, and transliterated into probably all the written languages of terrestrial humanity, the vampire myth has taken on an 'undead' life of its own. Over these past few generations the presence of vampires has become de rigueur at any hollow-een party, and they are a continuing theme constantly streaming out to universe via some cable channel in some language originating somewhere on earth.
We know the myth, but that is all. Note that the television and films working so hard to portray blood drinking murders as 'sexy', are held to very strict leashes by their masters, the entrenched elite. Wondering why the entrenched elite would want to foist the vampire myth on civilization is another discussion entirely, but what is pertinent are some of the more gossipy bits within the concept of the vampire, as a physical being.
For one thing, as with owls, and a very few other creatures on this planet, vampires don't shit. They do not need to; they eat blood. And blood, being what it is, has virtually no fiber to compel a bowel elimination. Further, it can be speculated that as blood drinkers, they get most of their water from the blood by way of plasma, and they may actually, should they exist, get nearly all their digestive processing done in the stomach, unlike mammals such as humans, where tons of the actual work of getting food calories turned into human parts is completed in the intestines. Thus vampires probably do not have a good relationship with intenstial flora, and never are to be seen eating yogurt.
Vampires, if legend and mythos are taken as near factual description, would represent the pinnacle of the predation pyramid. They eschew mere meat, in favor of the very life force of their prey... warm, pumping blood. Sooo...it would seem unlikely, especially given the pronounced puncturing teeth so prominent in all vampiric imagery, that they harbor any hidden cravings for grindage such as granola. It is my contention as an old observer of biologic system, that without fiber, no peristalsis. Sooo...like owls, vampires don't shit. Hmmm...wonder if that is why the entrenched elite 'bloodline' freaks worship owls? We know that the entrenched elite are vampiric in nature, sucking all life from the planet. Hmmm...probably vampires don't even eat PIE! Oh, the horror!
Also, probably, vampires are likely to puke up any retained 'waste' from their diet. And a lot of the entrenched elite are pukes, ergo....no just a diversion, comic relief in this horror story. Now that image is not going to reach a vampire teevee show near you...the shiny vampire retching up a coagulated mass of unabsorbed blood clots....not too 'sexy'.
We also know that vampires as a species are infertile. They do not breed by sex, but further the species growth by 'induction'. And, induction through victimization, and predation, thus each and every vampire is the prototypical, victim, whose future behavior is altered to become a criminal perpetrator. Hmmm...sounds ever so familiar somehow. Wonder if the priests will start to claim this as defense? If so, is teevee setting up the population to accept continuing criminal predation as a 'normal' behavior within the broader range of human activity? Hmmmm....gotta consider things like this as basic rule of life in the XXI century is that “if it hits teevee, it benefits the entrenched elite agenda”.
So, they, the entrenched elite, want the sheeple to view continuing criminal predators (likely on children as victims) as a 'normal' part of the range of acceptable social life that they are designing for us all. Yes, somehow that does pass the smell test. They are quite capable of trying that shit.
Nor, would one imagine, do vampires. Pass the smell test, that is.
They are unlikely to sweat, being undead and all, so what could worry them? And as to working so hard that they had to sweat? Well, there is their whole thing about crypts, and underground, and that suggests a cold blooded nature, again, not prone to sweating. And no where in the vampire myth does the phrase 'hard working' seem to come up. Plus, undead....so no work probably. And, from what i hear, the cost of 'living' as an 'undead' is not rising as fast as the cost of living for those of us who are alive...plus, rent for a crypt is like what? nothing. Probably could just find a cave for free....
Sooo...do they shower? If not, well excuse me, but like a banker at OWS, you can smell that stink coming a mile away. Both directions probably, though it is difficult to recall if ever the various forms of the myth mentioned smell, either of vampires, or ability by vampires. However, it is clear that even vampires would have skin as their largest organ, and one of the uses for skin is the excretion of toxins...so vampires can be expected to have their share of skin, and subsequent smell, issues. Just the way it is here in matterium. You want sensation? Well, you have to put up with grit, grime, and excretion.
At least here in the world of reality, grime rules, grit prevails, and shit happens. In the realm of vampires (illusionary?) and such, shit, apparently does not happen. Hmmm... yet one more thing to make vampires very creepy critters indeed. Me? Well my thinking is to be glad, this hollows eve, which is a counter part holiday whose history really needs to be investigated to understand just how wicked is this church thing, that vampires are restricted to myth. After all we still have such real horrors as death dealing souless ass-clown politicians (R(i)P?) [excellent article by Taibi in RS this last issue], clueless trading zombies, reptile worshiping bankers, deviant sex crazed religious zealots (monks, priests, pastors, bishops, cardinals, nuns, popes, et all...just thugs in the religion racket), and death-crazed, mind controlled, killing xombats, all of whom are so scary as to make a juggalo sit down and cry like a baby. All of these, however horrible they are, and they are truly horror in flesh, are also quite sure to shit. And to be shits.
Tricks? Or Treats? Well....not just yet...but in a few days past the 'holiday', the trick from the entrenched elite cometh. (oooooohhh, scary enough?!)
copyright blah blah more blah October 27, 2011 by clif high blah blah and more blah scary blah blah yapmf blah blah count the blah's plus 4 your clue