Chase fucking Bank is about to explode......

with respect....

Chase Bank is about to explode, but it will not be from Max Keiser's hands around Jamie Dimon's throat. {ed note: as much as that would be the PPV television event of the century!}

It will also not be from their huge silver shorts (totally not cover-able), nor from their vast list of crimes against humans.

It will not be from the pressure of government regulation (lmaorotf), nor will it be from citizen protests over immoral behavior.

However, it is certain that Chase Bank is about to explode. i know this from having spoken with agents of the bank over these last few days.

First they call to harass me over payments not late. {ed note: chase_bank_fuckers part one}

Then, probably as a direct result of that interaction, i was contacted by Chase Bank again, only this time, it was their 'survey division'. The representative from the survey did not in any way bring up the issue of recording me, and when i informed him that i was recording, he expressed no objection, so i took their survey.

Very extensively infiltrated with sales language pimping their customer service, the survey was all about my last interaction with their agent. In the main, i replied to all questions that i had no knowledge about their agent, good, bad or indifferent as their policies prevented us from ever interacting. Other than criticizing the policy, there was little i could actually comment upon, excepting that their agent, and that agent's supervisor both acted like complete assholes in placing me on 'indefinite hold with bad bad music over the phone'. In both cases, i extended courtesy further than reason should demand, and then hung up...see chase_bank_fucker part one.

So the survey was mostly moot, as other than listening to their agent pimp their customer service, i could not respond meaningfully as the stance and actions of their agents had prevented that service from more than starting, before being derailed into Chase Bank's illegal recording policy.

That is where it ended. This was yesterday evening, Sunday, December 23rd, 2012, by the way.

i was looking for something to noodle upon this morning, after returning from necessary gathering of supplies, when what should universe have occur? Yes, a 'present' it would seem, delivered in the form of yet-again-another-call-from Chase fucking Bank.

This time it was the 'Escalations Division'.....note to Chase fucking Bank dimwits in charge of naming things....'escalation' is NOT a calming word. Instantly, i thought that the late payment which was not late had been 'escalated' up a notch. This, of course, would have been a good thing, but no, i was wrong.

The agent for Chase fucking Bank informed me that his job with the 'Escalations Division' was to respond to me over the 'concerns' that i had expressed in their survey. Hmmmm!?! Proactive? or paranoid? Me, i am always paranoid first, it usually saves time.

So, when Agent XXCCVV of the Escalations Division of Chase fucking Bank then stated that they worked with the public relations division, and that, by the way, this call would be recorded...

i sprang into action like a reindeer tail in a mosquito cloud, and said 'hang on a second i'll get my recorder going too.' After all, it was an opportunity to resolve the issue at a higher level of Chase fucking Bank.

Only it was not to be...the agent's response..."Chase does not allow our calls to be monitored."

"That is illegal in Washington State." i said, incredulous.

"Nonetheless, Chase does not allow our calls to be monitored." Said agent XXCCVV from Chase fucking Bank.

Huh!?! Was he aware he was calling about my explicit problem with Chase bank's illegal recording policy? i asked.

Yes, he said, before then insisting that i turn off any recording devices that i may have as 'Chase does not allow our calls to be monitored.'....

i ended the call there. This shit i have heard before.

So that is how i know that Chase fucking Bank is about to explode. The pending explosion is due to the mental constipation that has afflicted the organization to the extent that all that comes out of their mouths is 'closed-loop logic'.

Well, i knew then that it was a solstice miracle, universe had handed me a gift. A perfect example of a Catch 22.

i know that Chase fucking Bank is about to explode as the mental constipation is sooooo bad that they have nothing but shit coming out of all o(ra)ffices.

Happy woo-woo's.

Oh, when the end of the b'ak'tun report does come out, have a look at the "bring the guilty bastard in, we'll give 'im a fair trial" section.






9.73.030 Revised Codes of Washington
Intercepting, recording, or divulging private communication — Consent required — Exceptions.

(1) Except as otherwise provided in this chapter, it shall be unlawful for any individual, partnership, corporation, association, or the state of Washington, its agencies, and political subdivisions to intercept, or record any:

(a) Private communication transmitted by telephone, telegraph, radio, or other device between two or more individuals between points within or without the state by any device electronic or otherwise designed to record and/or transmit said communication regardless how such device is powered or actuated, without first obtaining the consent of all the participants in the communication;

(all parties MUST agree...definition of a contract being formed at that moment - this is why i informed them that i was also recording (right to have a copy of the contract) - note from hph ).

(3) Where consent by all parties is needed pursuant to this chapter, consent shall be considered obtained whenever one party has announced to all other parties engaged in the communication or conversation, in any reasonably effective manner, that such communication or conversation is about to be recorded or transmitted: PROVIDED, That if the conversation is to be recorded that said announcement shall also be recorded.






December 24, 2012

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