(the) cindy lou effect..

by clif high, Sun, Jul 14, 2013 17:13


Cindy Lou Flatbush is a prophecy addict. She, and her brother Billy Ray, spend lots of time pouring over the many sites on the internet devoted to prophecy. Even though Cindy Lou distrusts them, her addiction to future forecasting is so intense, it drives her to visits to the 'non sanctified' places that use methods other than those prescribed by scripture (such as just everyone knows, 'them biblical codes', and them 'pendulum bible quote selectors', and 'them god-approved, non-satanic numeracy guides to bible passages of purpose-and-meaning'.

Cindy Lou is a real addict. Cindy is one of millions of addicted consumers of this material (in all its forms from astrology through to whereever it may end on the far reaches of the internet.

The problem, from our perspective, is that very shortly, Cindy Lou and the millions like her, will become 'producers' of 'forecasting content', not mere consumers.

Here is how it will happen.

A piece of software will be sold. It is a word counter algorithm software with deterministic scope for both sites chosen and word groups selected as targets.

Cindy Lou will buy this software, and until something happens a few months down the road, she will believe that she has found the 'pot of prophecy gold' at the end of the rainbow. This belief will spur more sales of the software to other Cindy's with whom she communicates.

Cindy Lou will discover, using this software, that "god" is "coming" back to "kick ass" and "take names" in the month of "december". She will see this pattern clear as the lines of the chemtrails in the sky, and the look of perplexity upon your face. If you deny the pattern, well, you are just a heathen anyway....

But to Cindy Lou, the pattern is as clear as god's word, and she is bound by her oath to her lo-ard and sa-vior to speak the 'truth'...so she will write about it....and god will approve...by directly telling her through this 'blessed' software with even more encouraging words that SHE IS RIGHT! So Cindy Lou will write some more, and receive even more rewards from her lo-ard.

This is the Cindy Lou effect. And it fucks over a lot of people.

This is due to the circuitous self referencing feedback loop that will be formed by Cindy Lou, her word-counted results, and her then talking/writing about those results in the same places from which she originally obtained the results. This feed-back loop will convince her limited grasp of what is going on that she has stumbled into the greatest thing since sliced communion wafers as it will continue to confirm her 'prophetic writings' the more she writes about it.

Make sense?

The software that Cindy Lou will buy that will convince her (over time, and her feeding into the loop) that she personally will be knighted by god in the final battle, will find JUST what it is told to find. So since Cindy wants to find god coming back to kick ass....well, she will tell the software to locate those words, and bobs-your-uncle, and Cindy Lou finds that, and the ability of the human mind to make patterns also finds that Cindy Lou herself is about to be knighted by god.

The problem for us here at HPH is multiplicitously faceted, but at its core, one facet looms large.

Our system is dead once Cindy Lou starts these self-feeding loops. From that point on, the data from the net is polluted. It gets complex in the mechanism involved, but is simple at its core; we would have no way to filter out the Cindy Lou effect from the data. It will be a polluting layer of non predictive linguistics 'floating' upon the 'raw' data. And there will be a lot of Cindy Lou's. Even a few are a problem, but once the idea is out there, others will craft their own offerings replicating the software...

A side effect of the first sale of this software is that it puts us out of business from that point forward.

We know this is coming and are running servers and spyders right up to the last minute. It will be our last asset from our business, this last data set. It may be the most precious data set (from our perspective) ever, in that it will be the last clean, non-polluted, data gathering for predictive linguistics. Probably forever. By anyone.

We are treating this last data set as the unique commodity it represents. i have about 17 pages done on the report that would have been developed from this report. i will not be releasing it. This is due to not wanting my work to 'feed' the Cindy Lou effect upon the upcoming release of the referenced software. i am continuing, along with igor, to work on this report as it does represent a serious data set with striking shorter and longer term values that we sweated so hard to wrest from within the immediacy data flood (all those damn meaningless tweats!). We will continue to develop the report, but we are in a real bind and cannot release in any fashion that would have it feed into the Cindy Lou effect. Further, it represents the last of the 'commodity' that we will ever be able to obtain. Sort of like the last 'pre-fukushima/pre-BP-oil-volcano blue fin tuna'....a precious commodity indeed.

So we are noodling now with advisors on what we may do to recover value from this set.

Reluctantly, within a short month or less of the appearance of the Cindy Lou effect, i will be forced to close down our server garden, and no longer employ igor. A very long association abruptly terminated by our state of operational poverty. Plus, with the polluted data stream, this technology is dead, and thus no work for paranoid mustache chewing associates to bald mad scientists.

Further ramifications will happen here at HPH as our efforts for relocation, purchase/obtaining the yurts, hiring help to finish the boat, and other projects are now affected/off as they were dependent on the flow of funds we generated in this cottage (really more of a slightly refined log cabin) industry.

This is by way of notice to all concerned as to what has developed in our world and with our work. It took a while to collect our thoughts and determine the best way to present the situation.

It was inevitable i am sure. Bad timing for us personally, but universe is like that and moves us all for its purposes, not ours.

And, yes, i do take some solace that while i am indeed out of our old business, the Cindy Lou effect also will fuck over Google trends, and NSA, and a whole bunch of other folks doing large scale data mining.

Oh, and we can all thank George Ure for this Cindy Lou effect.

The 'problem' as a movie (radio version). Magic Town, J. Stewart